a student set out to discover the many faces of kek. “I will see all of
kek’s multitudinous forms!” he declared, at the outset, to his father.
“In this way I will see kek in his entirety, and achieve
enlightenment.” His father smiled on the endeavor, and purchased
his son a small house in the marshlands. For the next twenty years, the
student sketched the faces of frogs, for he had suffered a childish
notion that it was the logical place at which to start. |
One day an old monk, traveling past the marshes, caught the student at his work. "You there, young man!” he yelled. “What you're doing is foolish! Do you not know that frogs are born everyday, and each birth produces more frogs than we humans have fingers to count with? kek has embarrassed you! you look like a complete asshole. a real fuck-face retard. slack-jawed, dog-dick, no-account motherfucker”
The student bowed low and humbly accepted this instruction, for he judged it to be the truth. The student returned to his father, who secured him a position as an initiate at a fashionable temple in the capitol city. There the student spent the next twenty years, watching the sun rise and set behind the palace of the emperor, a castle so magnificent that it shamed the very mountains of heaven. The student studied until until his hair was as white as sunlit sand.
“Ah!” he wrote to himself, in the fifth year of that pursuit. “I can see now that kek truly resides in the writings of the very wise. From these tomes I will certainly attain the vision that is my object.” And so he persisted, writing and rewriting this revelation until its words had lost all meaning.
One day, as the student was buying grain for the temple, he was accosted by a virginal maiden. ”Wait, you diligent monk!" she teased: ”Where are you going in such a hurry? Do you not see that kek's true spirit resides far away from the autists at the monastery? kek's spirit is strongest when we are in the hurly-burly; when we troll and are trolled in return, and spend our words not in contemplation, but in combat! Your dick is weak as hell, you fruitcake ”
At which point the student, embroiled, ripped his votive robe to pieces and rushed the girl into an alleyway. He took her with a knife to her throat and they were married shortly thereafter, for such was the custom at the time. Afterwards, the student and his wife retired to the country and enjoyed many happy years raising their children. The family supported by a modest stipend provided by the student’s father.
One day, the student was overseeing his two daughters as they frolicked in the garden. his youngest, a bright young thing named Ojio, approached her father with a question. “Father,” she inquired. “May I burn down the emperor’s palace?”
The student was taken aback. “Oh Ojio,” he said. “My lustrous jewel, my most beloved. Why would you ask such a question?”
“I’m sick of all this bullshitting around,” Ojio replied. “kek is a god of chaos. The order of society is his foe. His face is trapped by the stones of that palace! I would burn it down and see him truly. In this way I shall become enlightened.”
The student considered this. His beard was long and gray and he wore thick spectacles. Overhead, the branches of the his sycamore had caught the midday sun. At last, he said: “the face of kek is a frog that is smiling, I am sad to say. it is so ugly a frog and so stupid a smile that it disappoints me, and I have spent my entire life attempting to fashion some nobler mask. but kek cannot be altered. he is an obscene and lousy frog, a ne’er do-well. kek is gay and retarded and bow-legged and blown: a total cum-job, from top to bottom, and perfect, all the same. i speak with all sincerity sweet Ojio, the gold of the whole world, for i love thee too dearly to perfume your pretty ears with lies.”
Ojio dove for the revolver her mother kept concealed beneath the rosebushes. her father was too quick for her, however — the entire time he had an AR-15 on his lap, resting beneath a blanket. He let er rip:
brrraarrraaarrraaaap ppp p p
pik! pik! pik! pik!
His other daughter screamed and slipped on her sister’s ripped-up face, which was lying in the path. The living girl toppled backwards and hit her head on a geranium, then lay inside her sister, crying. This brought the student’s wife shuffling out of the house, cooing reassurances. She knelt beside the injured child and cried out ”You have killed our darling Ojio, the light of our lives, the treasure of our hearts! Why, oh, why have you done this my husband?”
The student lit up a joint and was wearing sunglasses. "to shut the bitch up," he said