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What your ride says about you: Everything is a car analogy on the internet

Posted: Thu May 23, 2019 8:03 pm
by Zero Cool
Hey so I've been thinking about the social an economic implications of the vehicles that different categories of people drive. Among certain circles of the internet (like this one) I've noticed that most people tend to drive older used Japanese cars. Just wanted to make a post outlining some of the basic profiles I've put together based on my experiences.

EG Honda Civic Hatchback
-Wears flat brim hats
-Addicted to weed
-Works at a vape shop
-GF has had 100 dicks minimum and likes her BFs car

Toyota Solaris
-Nintendo Switch
-Unfortunate Beard
-Wears air Jordans and posts/lurks on /fa/
-Secretly Wishes he was black so he could have the confidence to talk to girls with scary tats that listen to swans like he does.

e39 BMW 5 Series
-"Very Successful" at his shitty sales Job.
-Likes cars but doesn't know how to work on them
-Refers to his car as "the bimmer"
-Has a pretty normal GF that he resents for having such common tastes

Any early 2000s or late 90s GM or MOPAR product
-Works in a warehouse
-Smokes cheapest cigs possible
-Addicted to anime mobile games

Mazda Miata
-TFW no GF
-Calls his car "the yatta"
-Gaming setup/steam library worth more than his car

Toyota Supra/Nissan Skyline
-Tech company rich
-Makes "good money" at a fortune 500 company
-Daily driver is a base corolla

Tesla
-No personality
-Likes the office I guess?
-Brazzers sub
-Literally fucks hooker feet

Nissan or Toyota small truck
-In an unsuccessful indie band
-Has 2 kids that he neglects
-Alcoholic
-Shitty white dude dreds

Dodge Avenger/Dodge Neon
-Suboxone

Ford Mustang
-Never left the frat house (in his mind)
-Married by 24
-Divorced by 30
-Unironic golf dad clothing

Post your automotive prejudices ITT!

Re: What your ride says about you: Everything is a car analogy on the internet

Posted: Thu May 23, 2019 8:04 pm
by don
Super accurate read on Tesla

Re: What your ride says about you: Everything is a car analogy on the internet

Posted: Thu May 23, 2019 8:09 pm
by Kobold
I've never used the word "yatta" in my life, sir.

Re: What your ride says about you: Everything is a car analogy on the internet

Posted: Fri May 24, 2019 12:49 am
by containercore
Used to drive a BMW 5 series :?

Re: What your ride says about you: Everything is a car analogy on the internet

Posted: Fri May 24, 2019 5:43 pm
by Zero Cool
containercore wrote:
Fri May 24, 2019 12:49 am
Used to drive a BMW 5 series :?
Me too ;)

It was an '01 e39 530i and it was a great car.

Re: What your ride says about you: Everything is a car analogy on the internet

Posted: Fri May 24, 2019 5:57 pm
by nfl69
men who buy/lease brand new jeeps seem like they could be talked into letting another man have sex with their wife

Re: What your ride says about you: Everything is a car analogy on the internet

Posted: Fri May 24, 2019 7:51 pm
by containercore
I believe most Prius drivers remain subscribed to the New Yorker despite barely ever reading it. Possible risk of r/childfree posting for younger Prius drivers.

Re: What your ride says about you: Everything is a car analogy on the internet

Posted: Fri May 24, 2019 7:52 pm
by containercore
Zero Cool wrote:
Fri May 24, 2019 5:43 pm
containercore wrote:
Fri May 24, 2019 12:49 am
Used to drive a BMW 5 series :?
Me too ;)

It was an '01 e39 530i and it was a great car.
'96 or '97 here. It was my dad's old car, felt amazing to drive. Very expensive to fix though. You could also load 6 CD's into the back :ugeek:

Re: What your ride says about you: Everything is a car analogy on the internet

Posted: Tue May 28, 2019 3:47 pm
by Zero Cool
containercore wrote:
Fri May 24, 2019 7:52 pm
Zero Cool wrote:
Fri May 24, 2019 5:43 pm
containercore wrote:
Fri May 24, 2019 12:49 am
Used to drive a BMW 5 series :?
Me too ;)

It was an '01 e39 530i and it was a great car.
'96 or '97 here. It was my dad's old car, felt amazing to drive. Very expensive to fix though. You could also load 6 CD's into the back :ugeek:
Yeah they're fucking great. I bought mine used with like 170k miles on it and it actually was pretty reliable but the second something went wrong I ditched it when I saw the repair bill and bought another Honda lol.

Re: What your ride says about you: Everything is a car analogy on the internet

Posted: Wed May 29, 2019 10:32 pm
by moevot
Lmao. If u ask a normie what a "good car" is they will always say Tesla. Nobody cares about performance or quality anymore. They just want a car that looks like a tampon and Bluetooth syncs to their vibrating butt plug. A real shame :(