Good Doctor quandary

[samuraiblues]

I've been puzzling over this riddle for some time now, I imagine it's not an original thought, yet I'm unsure the solution or even the proper title. A little personal background, I had some health trouble the past few years, during that time I encounter a number of subpar doctors mainly through the Veteran Affairs. It seemed rather than being assigned to a doctor with a better specialty in that field of study, instead the administration assigned me to a doctor that had availability. Why? If there was a good doctor the chances are that that doctor wouldn't have any opening because their patients are alive and satisfied. Conversely, a not so good doctor has multiple openings, due to the doctor's rudeness, incompetency, ect. This seems to apply to jobs, relationships, friendships. There are so few good jobs, where there are too many bad jobs. Love, a woman who is attractive and good personality won't be on the market long, then there are the tinder-lifers. My corny 50's dad voice says, "Be the good doctor." There must be some market analysis that might explain this, picturing a pyramid. Thoughts?

[yoku]

[samuraiblues]

makes sense, only how do you play a bad hand other than bluffing?

[yoku]

I think if you are already contemplating these things you are on your way. For most people the thought of how to be “good” doesn’t even pop in their minds. They just assume they are good. I had a similar experience trying to be an artist. I thought that bluffing was the way to go and it actually got me pretty far. I sold a bunch and started putting away money but in the end I went crazy because I wasn’t really going at it the way that something inside me said I should, even though I was getting all the right feed back from family and friends. I just stopped pursuing that avenue of my art and started doing all kinds of different art that I found more fulfilling but was less lucrative. I would still do my old paintings if I got commissioned and would do about a show a year but I was real angry all the time. Still am I guess, partly because I knew I wasn’t and wouldn’t be on that Pareto distribution chart in the art world (IE being represented by big gallery’s or getting art world recognition). But then I got to thinking was that really the goal of being an artist. What does it really mean to be a top tier artist? I never really felt that the people who were at the top of the art game were creating anything that really moved me or changed the way I think. I started reading more, started pushing myself in directions that felt right inside of me in my darkest moments, not giving into the easy answers at those moments, not giving into the thoughts that kept repeating like mantras but the small voice that was there, that I knew was there and knew was true, that wasn’t cruel and self hating but that I hated because it wasn’t what I wanted to feel. Maybe it’s like that “dad” voice you were talking about. I don’t know but somehow all of that weirdness and struggle ended up being Dagger and I feel that this is the art I was supposed to make and that this puts me at the top of the Pareto distribution because the measuring criteria is correct. Maybe being the good doctor is not in the way that you initially think or the way that you were taught or the way that people expect but by asking yourself what does it really mean to be a good doctor. And by really asking yourself that and trying to live by what you come up with you put yourself at the top of the curve.

[dAMMITBOOSTER]

I started reading more, started pushing myself in directions that felt right inside of me in my darkest moments, not giving into the easy answers at those moments, not giving into the thoughts that kept repeating like mantras but the small voice that was there, that I knew was there and knew was true, that wasn’t cruel and self hating but that I hated because it wasn’t what I wanted to feel.

that last sentence fragment sums me up pretty good rn. Emperor Palpatine's idea about substituting hatred as the central creative/life force is not as far-off and fantasy-bound as I used to think when I first saw the original trilogy as a kid. So, so seductive. And addictive lol (at least for me). Do you feel like you've fully let go of self-hatred?

[yoku]

Nope, but I think that’s the struggle. I fuck up all the time. Sometimes real bad with really bad implications. But I pick myself up try to see with clear eyes what I did and how I can work towards fixing it and not making the same mistake. That’s plenty enough to give my life meaning which I guess is what we are supposed to figure out. I’m not a full on Christian or anything but one of the things that really appeals to me about Jesus is that even the ideal was tempted. That we as humans can forgive our selves as long as we work towards the ideal. That no fuck up is beyond trying to right it in your own lifetime. Not for some eternal heaven or anything but because by forgiving yourself and working to make it right you can make the world a better place even after you are gone.

[weaksausage]

Nope, but I think that’s the struggle. I fuck up all the time. Sometimes real bad with really bad implications. But I pick myself up try to see with clear eyes what I did and how I can work towards fixing it and not making the same mistake. That’s plenty enough to give my life meaning which I guess is what we are supposed to figure out. I’m not a full on Christian or anything but one of the things that really appeals to me about Jesus is that even the ideal was tempted. That we as humans can forgive our selves as long as we work towards the ideal. That no fuck up is beyond trying to right it in your own lifetime. Not for some eternal heaven or anything but because by forgiving yourself and working to make it right you can make the world a better place even after you are gone.

Sounds like a cool mix of Christianity and Adam Smith going on. Forgiveness being a massive theme in the Bible is absolutely imperative to life for we must forgive those that hurt us (even ourselves). Also, the Bible says we are forgiven more times than we could imagine. God knows full well the situation that humanity is in and offers us a lifeline. So it reminds me of Christianity because of that. It also reminds me of Adam Smith's notion of an invisible hand. The notion is that by helping oneself (in this case forgiving) one will ultimately and perhaps unintentionally influence and uplift others around him. He meant this economically of course, but I believe the same could be said for spirituality. The better we become ourselves will eventually penetrate the lives of those around us and as Christians we have the opportunity to be like salt to the unbeliever. Salt makes things taste better, it creates thirst, it sometimes can be an irritant, and it can also draw out infection. Christians are the salt of the Earth. The only real meaning of life is to develop a close relationship with God and you do that by reading the Bible and asking Him questions. There is no perfection, there is no transcendentalism, there is no Maslow's hierarchy of Godless people's needs, there is no apotheosis! There is only God and He is love. Not that faggoty fuck you in your ass love, but Agape, charitable or brotherly love. No homo.

[yoku]

We going to make an economy of kindness Big Dave

[samuraiblues]

Matthew 13:12

For whoever has, to him will be given, and he will have abundance, but whoever doesn't have, from him will be taken away even that which he has.
World English Bible

[yoku]

This is one of those weird ones to figure out ones. I like to take this as a matter of perspective. It’s easy to see yourself as one who got the shaft but as soon as you see your self as that all you will see is everything being taken where as if you see all that you have, you will start to see all the things coming your way.