Dagger Forum

let out your inner grandma and share recipes that you have personalized or tweaked over time. i wanna get more into cooking, so if you have good cheap shit to cook that tastes baller post it in here. i am already a minted banana bread god, so here's my b-bread recipe on its 10th or so iteration:

3 blacker than akon bananas, mashed
1/3 cup melted butter
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup light brown sugar
1 beaten large egg
1 tsp vanilla extract
a pinch of salt, dash of cinnamon
1 1/2 cup flour (maybe 1 1/4, still tweaking it)

when i say blacker than akon, i fucking mean it. nobody wanna see us together, but me and my black, semi-wrinkly, nigh liquefied bananas are inseparable. put the nasty bananas in the freezer until you make this if you dont want to keep them out.

tips & trixx: leave some chunks in banana mixture when mashing. add ingredients in order of recipe. lightly butter a 4"x8" pan. bake at 350F for 43 minutes (yes exactly 43). immediately after baking, remove bread from pan and place on wire rack.

blacker than akon bananas are the ultimate trick when you use bananas in baking. works great for banana muffins too.

This appears to be the thread where I share my most secret-est crack fried chicken recipe from my grandma. I have always made this chicken on special occasions and everyone eats it like they are smoking crack. In my mind this was to be my fall back business plan to open a food truck and just sell crack chicken, but now i see that it is time to let that dream go and share with my bros a tasty little secret passed onto my from my Grandma. its simple and some may say "yeah duh, that's easy" well first off fuck you, and second you will never be able to achieve The crack level of flavor with that attitude, because the secret ingredient is love. You must infuse the creation of this chicken with love. It is for special occasions that you want to share with people you care about ( even if that person is yourself).

Alright here we go.

First you need a big bag of chicken wings, you know the kind with the little drumsticks in it? That one, then get a heavy duty plastic bag of equal size (maybe even the bag that they come in if you put the chicken in a bowl but it cant be wet on the inside) fill the bag about 1/4 full of flour and add salt (about 1 table spoon? i don't know how much chicken or how big your bag is but if its a gallon bag 1/4 full of flour then about a tablespoon) and a bunch of pepper. Sometimes i put some chili powder or flakes but not if i think kids are going to eat it. then put the chicken back in the bag and shake it. I forgot to say the chicken should be defrosted and placed on a paper towels so that they are not wet. This is important, if they are wet the flour will get all clumpy and gross and your fried chicken skin will fall right off. So put it in the bag and shake it.

for cooking i like to use a cast iron pot with a lid just in case and that has some height to it but not a soup pot or anything, fill it about 1 1/2 to 2 inches deep with vegetable oil, you can use other oil but it has to take heat well. Heat the oil up, you will know its ready if you put the back side of wooden spoon to the bottom (or chopstick ((asian))) and you see tiny bubbles coming out of the wood. Reduce you heat a bit as you DO NOT WANT TO SEE SMOKE COMING FROM YOUR OIL!! As a side note if your oil catches fire DO NOT PUT IT OUT WITH WATER IT WILL EXPLODE AND BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN just turn off the heat and put the lid on it till the flames go out, don't panic.

AANYHOW, once you see the tiny bubble from the wooded spoon get some tongs and start pulling the chicken from the bag and placing them in the oil carefully as to not splash. its going to make noise and if you have not cooked much it may be scary. Do not let the fear stop you, fear makes you feel alive and the tiny burns you will get from the small popping of oil will make you be quietly admired by people ( but not giant gross burns, and as an aside should you get burned put ice in a towel or use a ice pack and keep it on there all day and night if you can, if where you got burned is sore that means your skin is still burning even if it doesn't seem like it, if you keep it on the spot all night it will not blister and you will just have a brown mark where you got burned ((i don't know what color it will be if you are black but im going to assume that you know how to fry chicken so disregard this portion)))

fill the pan with one layer of chicken, don't pile it in there and watch them. hey will turn golden on the sides then use the tongs to flip them. You will know that the drum sticks are done because the skin will peal from the bone on the tiny side of the drum stick, the wings will get dark brown at the tips. Pull them out and put them on paper towels or newpaper so that it will absorb you extra oil. fry all your chicken, your oil may get gross by the end, I don't know what to tell you I'm not a cook. When my grandma did it she was very clean, I'm not my grandma.

so far all i have been describing is frying chicken and hopefully you know have a pile of small fried chicken wings. now for the glaze. you need a big bowl, pour a whole bottle of soysauce in it, like a half gallon or 2 liters or something about that much then add a cup or two of brown sugar. there should be a mound of brown sugar in there before you mix it. put some diced chives or sesame seeds or chili flake if you want, stir the mix and one by one dip the fried chicken in it. place the chicken on a platter or if the guests aren't ready yet put it on a pan and place it in the oven on low heat 150-200 degrees around there.

Make sure that you eat 1-5 after you dip it cause once it goes out they will get eaten and you won't get any. In fact people will give you mean looks if they see you eating them as once they have had a taste, a dark crack addiction like greed will spread in them and they will want them all and resent any who make the pile smaller.

So that's my grandmas crack chicken, I hope someone tries to make it cause its fucken good.