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There is a legend known to many, but much like the mysterious footmonster, the sneaky inside-out man, or the magical loveland frog, is seen only by all too few. This is a space for those among us who were lucky enough to witness an actual in person sighting to tell our stories.

Ol'TwoSpoons wrote: ↑

Tue May 07, 2019 1:49 am

There is a legend known to many, but much like the mysterious footmonster, the sneaky inside-out man, or the magical loveland frog, is seen only by all too few. This is a space for those among us who were lucky enough to witness an actual in person sighting to tell our stories.

Did you hit it with a stick?

It was May 23, 2016, Detroit Michigan, I could barely maintain composure as I entered Wayne State University for the Hillary Clinton presidential campaign rally. Needless to say I had been to most rallies previous, like anyone on the right side of history would be, but this time there was a certain electricity in the air. Somehow I knew this time was gonna be special.
The turnout was on the intimate side so I managed to get really close to the armed security blocking the stage, ready to really soak up the message with the dozens of other people lucky enough to have attended. It was too beautiful to be real. As I let a master orators honeyed words pierce my eardrums I couldn't help but clench my fists hard and agree really aggressively under my breath "I am with her!" "We are stronger together!" "Yes ma'am!"
Before I knew it the rally was over and the armed guards dispersed the crowd with chains and prods to protect them from their future master. It was at that moment I could no longer contain myself "It's your turn, Hillary!" I shouted over the crowds somber murmur. Complete silence followed. I was so happy my eyes lost focus, but I could just barely see a blonde-blue blur stop dead and turn towards me. 'This can't be real' I thought.
I squinted hard and could tell that she was looking right at me. 'She must be some kind of body double' I told myself, 'Would the lady of the hour selflessly risk approaching her supporters? Am I in for the handshake of my dreams? Or even a fist bump?' I was locked in her gaze, and getting light headed. Then, suddenly she scittered past her soldiers and approached me. She moved way way faster than I had expected and had I not fortunately been frozen in place I might have started back in alarm. "This must be a double" I thought, but then the smell hit me and I knew. I knew, that only the real Hilldawg could possibly smell like that.
She stopped inches away from my face, audibly suppressing a cough and speaking rapidly under her breath. She was talking backwards but it was played in reverse, like from a dream sequence in twin peaks. It sounded almost like latin or really bad spanish, and was probably really mobilizing but I couldn't understand it. Suddenly she stopped and for a moment I focused and saw clearly eyes devoid of light, an expression of cold, calculating hunger, expecting something. I tried to say something cool like 'yaas!' or 'slay queen!' but all that came out was a ragged "What?"
There wasn't a splinter second delay; "What?!" she shouted back at me, shouted in my own voice. I flinched hard. "I love you!" I bleated without knowing why. She laughed. A jagged deep barked out laugh at first but it quickly rose in pitch and frequency to a shrill breathless trill. The room started spinning as I realized other people were also laughing, everyone was laughing. They were all laughing the same laugh, her laugh, and my god that smell...
I tried laughing with them but at that moment she shot formic acid out of her eyes into my eyes and I finally tumbled over. As my consciousness drifted into delirium I somehow realized what she had said to me. Somehow the message carried by alien syllables came through with piercing clarity and I repeated the words in my mind;
"Nobody's gonna believe you, fuckface... HRC2020"

hitagi wrote: ↑

Tue May 07, 2019 2:48 am

Did you hit it with a stick?

No this isn't about the frog this is about HILLDAWG. If you have encountered Hillary in person this is the place to tell your tale, be it unbelievably harrowing, disgusting, or just totally mediocre. If you have had an experience with out future leader post your stories here.

That frog is real and it's out there, though.

Ol'TwoSpoons wrote: ↑

Tue May 07, 2019 3:55 am

As my consciousness drifted into delirium I somehow realized what she had said to me.

What did she say?

It was some point in the year 2018. I'm not exactly sure when... like the rest of you I was taking things pretty hard. Bent out of shape in a real bad way; I was too depressed to brush my teeth or wash my penis, I barely left the house during daylight hours, and I was drinking irresponsibly in an irresponsible way. I'm not proud of it but I know most of you were right there with me, in spirit. So don't judge.
Anyway I was taking my whisky for a ride one night when flashing lights appeared in my rear view mirror I hadn't seen a cop anywhere and wasn't breaking the speed limit but my heart stopped anyway. I pull over slowly and gingerly place my wild turkey under the passenger seat, trying to calm my nerves enough to act less drunk than I was.
I saw in my rear view mirror that it wasn't a cop car, just a regular car with one of those red lights placed on the top. As the silhouetted officer sauntered to my window I prepared my license and insurance. He never asked for it.
"Alright Bilbo!" he shouted, shining his flashlight in my eyes "Alright tittymaster!... Alright Casanova! You havin' some kinda night tonight?!"
I smiled into the blinding light and tried to salvage the already deteriorating situation "Night tonight" I began but he cut me off
"Alright, faggot-butt, you been out partying tonight? Suckin' down grandaddys cough syrup? a little of the ol' michigan tap water?"
At this point he started turning his flashlight on an off in an attempted strobe effect but dropped it, as he bent over I let out a laugh and his head shot up into the window, an inch from my own
"No laughing!" he shouted "You can't laugh that's the new drunk test!" He shined the flashlight directly into both of my eyes individually, and in spite of the straight whiskey I had been drinking I could smell the liquor on his breath
The pressure to not laught combined with the absurdity of the situation made it impossible not to as I tried to say ok. The cop exhaled hard and walked around the front of the car, opened the passenger door and sat down next to me. He wasn't wearing any pants.
"Listen up, Frankenstein!" he sprayed, "You're about to fail the drunk test, know what happens if you fail the test? You get the baton!"
He reached over and started giving me a titty twister, at this point I was crying.
"Ok, I'm sorry, I'm just nervous" I said, tears running down my face "I'm so sorry" The cop pulled my wild turkey out from under his seat without looking and took a long drink. My heart sank.
"You get the baton!" He bellowed, misting me with hot, acrid saliva, "You get the baton!" He held his flashlight over his head like a club "The baton! The baton! Baton! Baton!"
He stoped momentarily to catch his breath, I just stared, pleading, and I saw something familiar in his eyes. The frantic, malicious desperation, a confused and angry wide eyed kinda look. I also noticed the pearl neclace and earings. This was no ordinary cop, this was no cop at all! At this point the real police showed up and the imposter just ran off, flying away on leathery wings.
For a second time nobody believed me, but I know she's out there somewhere, a silent guardian in the night. Watching, waiting... untill 2020

I'm obsessed with Hillary Clinton. I first found out about her on the socialist underground scene of Twitter, but she has since come to inhabit every part of my life. I love her. I need her.
I have never seen her in person; I know it would kill me. In the first days as I penetrated the membrane of her warmth I saw hints and felt strange phenomena. I knew I had touched upon something forbidden and ancient. My TV spoke in her voice. Her voice began to echo in my mind. But then I saw it. I was sitting outside of the bank I work at and I heard her voice through the radio; I became awake and asleep at once. Her face came to me in a bright light, brighter than anything. I felt her love crawl from the tip of my tailbone to the base of my neck.
Her warmth absorbed everything. I cried out in fear and in tones like bells she asked me my trouble. I responded only with weeping, deep unbridled weeping, and her nurturing embraced me. In that moment I was reborn in the beatific beams of Hillary. Poems of light that sang of her majesty danced around me and humbled my soul.
The vision ended suddenly and it was the same day I castrated myself to conform my flesh to her godliness. I gave my life to her power. She visits me in the night and informs my days. Her undulating unctuous soul-sphere of the inner world inundates me in intoxicating fluids.
This communion with Her light is not without cost.
She hates me, all the parts of me that are separate from her. She tortures me to prove my love. She abuses me to perish all within me that is separate from her, and I desire her all the more for it. I want her to consume me. Someday She will. I confess to lying because She is my truth. I confess to stealing because She is owed more than I own. I confess to killing because She is the conduit of life. She absolves all the contradictions of my heart, and my soul sees her always, and the day will come when I will be entombed in the great AI consciousness with Her and be diminished to her all-love. She will ride a chariot across the heavens to all the worlds.
I hope you all experience this sighting.

Loud Speakers MC wrote: ↑

Wed May 08, 2019 3:51 am

What did she say?

"Nobody's gonna believe you, fuckface... HRC2020"

The editings a little rough, these are the result of a lifelong losing battle with insomnia, but they are also 1000$ true and the world needs to know. If you've seen her, tell your story.

Ol'TwoSpoons wrote: ↑

Wed May 08, 2019 10:48 am

It was some point in the year 2018. I'm not exactly sure when... like the rest of you I was taking things pretty hard. Bent out of shape in a real bad way; I was too depressed to brush my teeth or wash my penis, I barely left the house during daylight hours, and I was drinking irresponsibly in an irresponsible way. I'm not proud of it but I know most of you were right there with me, in spirit. *snip*

Haha this is fucking great

abu_hajaar wrote: ↑

Wed May 08, 2019 10:49 am

I felt her love crawl from the tip of my tailbone to the base of my neck.

It is a know fact that this is the area Hillary's love enters the human body

edit: It's through your butt. Her love goes up your butt.