We write the next John Wick movie

General posts about Dagger, books, vidcons, anime, TV, the ongoing collapse of western civilization and Don's student loans. no politics
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Ol'TwoSpoons
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We write the next John Wick movie

Post by Ol'TwoSpoons » Sat May 18, 2019 5:46 am

hitagi wrote:
Sat May 18, 2019 5:40 am
john wick plays fortnite and trash talks someone on the mic
hitagi wrote:
Sat May 18, 2019 5:41 am
then later wields guns akimbo and dabs with both in hand, killing 2 goons right screen
Ol'TwoSpoons wrote:
Sat May 18, 2019 5:41 am
and uses the n word
Ol'TwoSpoons wrote:
Sat May 18, 2019 5:41 am
gets his whole twitch channel deleted
Ol'TwoSpoons wrote:
Sat May 18, 2019 5:42 am
but it turns out that was the twitch channel his dead wife gave him, and he has a set of specific skills
Everybody hop on board, we hollywood now
Last edited by Ol'TwoSpoons on Sat May 18, 2019 7:59 am, edited 1 time in total.
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don
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Re: We wright the next John Wick movie

Post by don » Sat May 18, 2019 5:55 am

so jay what did you think of John Wick 4: Gamers Rise Up?

mike, did I ever tell you about my favorite VHS tape? I wasn't always the handsome twink you see before you. I had to do a great deal of growing before I came into myself, and for a long time there were only a few girls who paid any attention to me. The sweetest of them, when I was attending secondary school made me a gift of a VHS tape of Basket Case 2. I loved that tape and watched it almost daily, during a particular drab and isolated stretch of years across my early twenties. When I saw John Wick 4: Gamers Rise up there was a moment, right after John gets banned from twitch and unfriended by SMOSH, where he considers giving up. But then instead he busts open his PS4 and pulls out a secret glock and kills the racially ambiguous bald white guy under his couch. On the night of my twenty-eighth birthday a large man broke into my house and tried to rape me. I beat him off with my copy of basketcase 2, hitting him in the face until the tape unspooled. It didn't help. I don't know why but the part in John Wick 4 with the secret glock in the PS4 reminded me of that. I am living my life through a funhouse mirror of overpowering images and I believe I am outgrowing time.
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Kobold
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Re: We wright the next John Wick movie

Post by Kobold » Tue May 21, 2019 12:12 am

don wrote:
Sat May 18, 2019 5:55 am
so jay what did you think of John Wick 4: Gamers Rise Up?

mike, did I ever tell you about my favorite VHS tape? I wasn't always the handsome twink you see before you. I had to do a great deal of growing before I came into myself, and for a long time there were only a few girls who paid any attention to me. The sweetest of them, when I was attending secondary school made me a gift of a VHS tape of Basket Case 2. I loved that tape and watched it almost daily, during a particular drab and isolated stretch of years across my early twenties. When I saw John Wick 4: Gamers Rise up there was a moment, right after John gets banned from twitch and unfriended by SMOSH, where he considers giving up. But then instead he busts open his PS4 and pulls out a secret glock and kills the racially ambiguous bald white guy under his couch. On the night of my twenty-eighth birthday a large man broke into my house and tried to rape me. I beat him off with my copy of basketcase 2, hitting him in the face until the tape unspooled. It didn't help. I don't know why but the part in John Wick 4 with the secret glock in the PS4 reminded me of that. I am living my life through a funhouse mirror of overpowering images and I believe I am outgrowing time.
Keanu Reeves closes the YouTube app on his brand new Samsung Note smartphone and leans back in the driver's seat of his immaculately restored 1968 Ford Mustang with a satisfied grin on his face, happy to receive such high praise from his favorite film review duo. He looks over to the mint condition L.A. county twink in the passenger seat and with a sigh of relief says "they liked it." The twink only replies with a smile.

They both step out of the vehicle and move towards the trunk. Keanu pops the lid and reaches inside, grabbing a compact AR-15 by the hand guard and passes it off to the twink. The twink first checks the chamber, then taps the power button on the Holosun sight atop the rifle. He quickly shoulders it and squeezes the trigger, satisfied with the light pull and the resulting click. The rifle has a fixed, entry length aluminum skeletal stock, a rare choice on such a weapon but it can be used as a bludgeon or a light-duty entry device. The 8 inch hand guard conceals a three inch barrel, clambering .300 blackout subsonic ammunition, and a 5 inch SilencerCo Saker suppressor.

Keanu slides several high capacity magazines for his Walther into the inside pockets of his jacket. The twink pulls a lightweight plate carrier tight around his tummy. They nod to each other and walk towards the nearby building with the large lighted sign that reads IVANOV IMPORT/EXPORT. A heavy Gesaffelstein bassline kicks in as the title card is shown John Wick V (the V having the word vengeance slowly fade in after it).
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weaksausage
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Re: We write the next John Wick movie

Post by weaksausage » Tue May 21, 2019 8:34 pm

John Wick goes blackface?

John Wick: Tales From The Hood

With the Russian Mafia breathing down John boy's neck, he is forced to temporarily go on the lam. He moves to the Marcy Projects in New York and befriends a kindly old black man that agrees to take him in for a little extra cash. The kindly old man convinces Wick that in order to survive in the hood and to remain incognito, he's gonna have to go blackface. While blackfaced Wick forms a deep bond with the old man. The old man tells him about black oppression and how hard it is for his people in a racist society. Wick listens intently in blackface, finding the old man's words true and compelling. Unfortunately, the one thing the old man can't convince Wick of his revisiting his favorite Pierogi joint. The joint is always filled with Russian gangsters, but with Wick's new disguise, these treats are worth a shot. Wick enters the Pierogi spot, as he sees some familiar mobster faces, faces that would love to see him dead, he starts to get nervous. Cmon John baby, don't sweat, your disguise will melt and you will be exposed. John orders his Pierogis reassembling his composure. He just might make it. The food comes and it is hot. Unable to resist nibbling on the delicious Pierogi he opens the bag. Bad move. The steam escapes and hits Wick right in the face. His black face starts running creating a scene. A mobster gets a funny feeling about Wick and has him tailed. They tail him back to the projects and realize who he really is. The mobsters order a hit on the project apartment the next night but Wick isn't home. Wick comes home later to find his apartment ransacked and his black friend dead. He cries the blackface off and washes his sorrows down with a bottle of vodka. When he wakes up the next morning, he knows what to do. He must go back to the Pierogi spot, and kill every last mother fucker who had anything to do with his best friends death.
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SpaceLions
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Re: We write the next John Wick movie

Post by SpaceLions » Tue May 21, 2019 9:14 pm

Disney buys the rights to John Wick and slowly John Wick thematics start taking over all the classic rides at Disneyland. When Pirates of the Caribbean became Pistols of the Avenger, Keanu Reeves had had enough. Years of gun drills and motorcycle hobbying had given him a particular set of skills. The Mouse was going to pay.
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