election 2020 fanfiction

[peng]

As the town hall debate dragged on Bernie Sanders realized that time was up. It was only a matter of time before Hillary officially declared herself in the running. He was already losing to Biden and losing ground to Harris. It was only a matter of time before his legacy would be that of an "also ran" "could have been". The entire field had already adopted his platforms of communism for illegal immigrants and genetic testing of blacks for reparations. He brought nothing more to the table than his aged, decaying body. But they all underestimated his determination. His willpower. His ability to persevere under the most dire of circumstances.

While on the surface he was cordial and supportive of Hillary in 2016, underneath it all he seethed that his victory has been stolen from him. It was only after it was revealed the true reason for his loss that he realized he had not even properly campaigned to begin with. Through a network of back channels, black sites, and shadowy information brokers he had discovered the secret to Hillaries unstoppable political will: blood sacrifice. Hillary had risen to the rank of Secretary of State poltically, and multi millionaire financially, but less known was her ascendancy to the 7th gate of Grand Wizards of the Forsaken Order.

Using all of her powers combined she secured campaign offices where leylines intersected and the walls to the other side were weakest, and from there built SCIFs into each. Inside those SCIFs a sacrificial altars was set and using fresh supplies from Haiti, smuggled in daily, an unending nation-wide blood sacrifice was started on the first moon of the Democratic Primary. Learning he was impossibly outmatched by forces beyond his control, Bernie realized his 2020 prospects required a weapon of his own to overcome his supernatural weakness, and so before the end of summer 2016 Bernie had begun his dark work.

Given her high standing in the world of the occult, it was immediately ruled out to try any of the traditional methods of alchemy or daemonica. It took Hillary her lifetime to acquire her arts and Bernie had but 4 years to win a primary against her. This left only tracking down the forbidden magics; spells so dangerous they threatened the weave of reality itself. It mattered not to Bernie of course, did not the Presidency contain the same power? And so over the course of 4 years he persevered.

From his inner pocket he drew the black elixir, no larger than a hip flask, and began undoing the gold restricting clasps on the cap. He meant for it to be his ultimate trump card against Hillary this primary--he grinned to himself at the irony of the name--and began to imbibe the foul mixture.

* * *

Andrew Yang was discussing his Guaranteed Minimum Income plan in great detail and nobody was listening. Even though they were hundreds of feet away, he could see the glazed over eyes of the town hall audience. The moderator was flipping through his Twitter timeline, His competitors were all busy going over their notes, Bernie was even taking a shot of whiskey? Andrew reassured himself it would be over soon. He would finish with less than 1% of the delegates and leverage this entire operation into getting some cushy think tank job. One where he could outline pointless NYT op eds all day and expense his lunches. Then suddenly he couldn't speak anymore. A loud crack had erupted the podium over and his neck was ensared by muscular, sinewy tentacles. His eyes refused to move and his neck craned upwards at an impossible angle. All hearing was lost and soon too his vision began to blur into nothingness.

* * *

Bernie roared with delight as he began to dismantle Yang live onstage. His arms and legs had been replaced with countless writhing tentacles with power so immense bone was brittle as a toothpick. His laughter reverberated through the auditorium and passed through the walls of every building in Philadelphia. What initial screams and terror immediately were suppressed and replaced with wild cheering and applause. People in their sleep woke up to clap for reasons they did not understand, while those watching on TV were perplexed as to what was happening.

A thread was posted on /pol/: "TURN ON CNN NOW"

Scattering Yangs remains over the studio audience Bernie's maw quivvered and an unnatural, deep slurring voice range out

"The delegates... Give me... The delegates!"

The crowd erupted into cheers of "Bernie! Bernie! Bernie!" as a high pitched squeal pierced the room, deafening them all, but they were still able to 'hear' Bernie's every command. The young able males, forcibly conscripted as Bernie Bros, swarmed to stage and began beating up the false prophets that stood beside Bernie. The women cheered, many of them celebrating the violence against candidates they wore shirts for.

CNN cut their live feed, but the Bernie Bros began pulling their phones out and live streaming their revelry.

* * *

In the days to come Pennsylvania, New York and surrounding states declared martial law. Using new emergency powers President Trump's quarantined them off to ward off the spread of the Bernie Bro plague. Military gunships, missiles, and even nuclear weapons only seem to slow down Bernie Sanders, who does not show any response to being attacked and continues shambling across New England in his unending quest to gain delegates.

Ironically, as Bernie's ascendancy left him unconcerned with the rules and news of mortal man, the 2020 election continued without much of new England voting, causing Trump to win in an unprecedented landslide and winning him the popular vote.

[Kobold]

To be clear, this isnt just fanfiction. This will happen.

[ZugIslandProdigy]

To be clear, this isnt just fanfiction. This will happen.

Wrong again. You bigots may not realize it, but this time around, it's HER TURN.